Some months ago, I was sitting at a table in Budapest at an outdoor cafe staring at this beautiful building, St. Stephen’s Basilica, enjoying a morning cappuccino in peace. I liked the view so much, I preserved it in this photo.

My quiet contemplation was interrupted by a herd of British travelers arriving at the cafe.

I understand that Americans have a world-wide reputation for being loud tourists. I try not to perpetuate the stereotype. (I probably fail by local standards wherever I go. We’re loud here. I’m sorry.) In any case, this particular group of Brits proved that Americans don’t have an exclusive lock on the loud thing.

One of the Brits cornered the waitress. “Excuse me!” he shouted. “Do you have NORMAL coffee?”

The waitress looked puzzled. She was the same waitress who had taken my order so I knew that her English was very good. I suspected that her puzzled expression was not due to a language comprehension problem.

“You know. NORMAL!” he shouted even louder, as though increased volume would lead to increased comprehension. “None of that FOAMY stuff. NORMAL BREWED COFFEE. DO YOU HAVE IT?”

The waitress nodded her assent and made a note. She continued on to the next person in the group. I tuned them out and returned to studying the basilica.

A few minutes later, my thoughts were interrupted again by Mr. Loud Guy shouting, “THAT’S NOT NORMAL! I ASKED YOU IF YOU HAD NORMAL COFFEE! AND THAT’S NOT NORMAL!” He stood up and threw his napkin down in disgust, then stormed off hollering over his shoulder “DON’T YOU GUYS PAY FOR THAT! THAT’S NOT WHAT I ORDERED!”

Silence descended as the remaining Brits swiveled their heads in unison to watch their compatriot’s dramatic exit. After a few moments, one commented to another: “Why didn’t he just order an Americano?” (For those who aren’t coffee addicts like me, an Americano is an espresso with added hot water and is the closest thing you’ll find to brewed coffee at an espresso bar that doesn’t have a drip coffee maker.) The others laughed a little at Mr. Loud Guy’s expense. Then conversation resumed at the usual volume.

Apparently, the waitress and Mr. Loud Guy had two different definitions of “normal.” I suspect that the waitress brought coffee that was “normal” for her frame of reference. I didn’t see what was inside the cup, but I’ll bet it was an espresso.

But to Mr. Loud Guy, “normal” meant something entirely different.

While I don’t really know what’s “normal” coffee in England, in the US “normal” coffee is weak stuff. It’s colored water with a little coffee flavoring. It’s dreadful. I learned back in 2001 that one of the great things about Europe is that even the bad coffee is good. The coffee in hotel lobbies in the US is tastes like burnt dish water. By contrast, the coffee in hotel lobbies in Europe is actually pretty good. The coffee in cafes is even better. So, different frame of reference; different interpretations of “normal.”

The whole interchange left me thinking: how often do we have similar miscommunications in software development? (”Excuse me! Don’t you have a NORMAL API? None of this WEB SERVICES stuff. You know, a NORMAL API?!?”)

Hmmm…